Animals of a Lesser God?

I've seen and heard a lot of bickering lately regarding the fact that the Book of Mormon refers to animals that a few stupid archaeologists like these idiots; and this moron believe did not exist in the Americas during Book of Mormon times.  For example, they say that horses had been extinct in the Americas for thousands of years until the Spanish re-introduced them well after Book of Mormon times had ended.  There are other such examples, such as swine; and even elephants are mentioned a couple of times. One plausible explanation some really smart non-archaeologists proffer is that words don't actually mean what they mean.  For example, when God said "horses", he actually meant "tapirs" like this:

Who is right, you ask?  My response: How should I know?  I'm not a scientist.

However, these discussions did get me thinking about the animals that are conspicuously missing from the Book of Mormon. For example, did you ever consider the fact that llamas are never mentioned; not even once?  What about Jaguars? Pretty sure wicked King Noah had a few of those around!

And check out this dude rocking a sweet jaguar pelt scabbard, with matching boots, and wristbands!

Heck, they could've at least mentioned bobcats. What about condors, bald eagles, hawks, ravens and parrots; all prevalent in Native American lore and glyphs?  If it had been up to me, I'd have mentioned those for sure!

Coyotes, buffalo, and alligators?  Nowhere to be found!  No moose, no armadillo, no ocelot.  What the heck?

One would think that sloths, anteaters, and prairie dogs would at least deserve a mention in passing.  While beavers got no respect from the ancient Nephites, their pelts eventually became quite popular with both colonial and European aristocrats in the late 1700s.

Despite the fact that I've read the Book of Mormon numerous times, I cannot recall a single mention of monkeys.  Given the fact that we know the Nephites were actually just the Mayans; and that they lived in the jungles of Central America, it's pretty astounding that monkeys don't get more Book of Mormon play. There could at least be a "Parable of the Wayward Monkey Troupe" or a trusty monkey sidekick named "Max" to keep Ammon company.  But "cattle", "swine", "horses", "elephants"?  Bo-ring!

Max severs the arms of one the notorious sheep rustlers of Ishmael

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Next to be Excommunicated: Elder Roberts, Assistant Church Historian and a President of the First Council of the Seventy

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I purchased a book called "Studies of the Book of Mormon" written by Elder Roberts, one of the Presidents of  First Council of the Seventy.  Apparently he's also the assistant church historian or some such. I was saddened after reading part of the book to learn that yet another general authority of the church appears to have lost his way.  You see, it turns out that Elder Roberts is one of these so-called "intellectuals" who think they know more than Heavenly Father.  Here is just one of many anti-Book of Mormon quotes from Elder Roberts' book:

"Did Ethan Smith's View of the Hebrews furnish structural material for Joseph Smith's Book of Mormon? It has been pointed out in these pages that there are many things in the former book that might well have suggested many major things in the other.Not a few things merely, one or two, or half dozen, but many; and it is this fact of many things of similarity and the cumulative force of them that makes them so serious a menace to Joseph Smith's story of the Book of Mormon's origin"

This G.A. is nuts, right?  I mean, just because a guy is one of the Presidents of the First Council of the Seventy and the Assistant Church Historian; and just because a guy literally wrote the Comprehensive History of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: Century I, that doesn't mean he knows what he's talking about, right?

"O the vainness, and the frailties, and the foolishness of men! When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not."
      - 2 Nephi 9:28

With all the recent excommunications that have happened, it won't surprise me if the Church gives him the boot, post haste.  Good riddance, I say, if your testimony of the Book of Mormon is that weak, you are probably not worthy to be in the Church, even if you are a highly respected general authority.

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"No Ordinary Man Could Have Written This"

A friend of mine posted a link to this interesting video on Facebook a few days ago.  Naturally, I assumed, because of the title, it must be referring to the Book of Mormon.  It really made me think.

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